What Should Have Been
by Honeeym
Summary: It was over. After one hundred and forty six years, it was finally over. This could have – should have- gone a completely different way, he told himself while heading home.


**_Hey readers! _**

**_I just checked out my traffic stats and you people made my day! There are so many of you checking out my stories, I hope this new one won't disappoint. So...This is set after 2x07 "Masquerade". First attempt at a Damon/Kat pairing. I just needed to get it out of my system so here it goes "What Should Have Been" ! _**

* * *

Damon heard Katherine wake up. She grabbed that oh-so-precious moon stone of hers and got to her feet. Her breath wasn't steady but she didn't sound extremely weak either. The spell had been more efficient that he expected but he would feel better if she had been injected with vervain; unfortunately, vervain was one more thing that didn't get to her. For the second time of the evening, she found herself stopped by an invisible supernatural boundary. That's the moment he chose to appear in front of her.

"_Hello, Katherine."_

"_Where am I?"_

"_Where you should have been all along. I thought you'd have learnt your lesson by now, messing with a Bennett witch."_

"_You should have killed me."_

"_Death would have been too kind." He said, a mask of anger distorting his handsome features._

He took a step closer to finally close the tomb. Katherine instantly panicked and started begging. "No, Damon, don't. Damon, don't!" He was not one to hesitate, like he had told Stefan a few hours ago. Katherine knew him well enough and that was one thing she liked about him; but when she saw that determined look on his face, she thought of the only thing that might stop him.

"_You need me, Elena's in danger." _

Katherine felt slightly relieved when he froze; she had caught his attention. His undead heart skipped an imaginary beat. _Damn it! _Damon thought. Why did everyone always have to play the Elena card on him? But let's be serious, this was Katherine. She would have said anything to save her skin.

"_You're lying. You're always lying." _

"_Why do you think I haven't killed her? Because she's the doppelganger, she needs to be protected." _

"_Then I'll protect her. While you rot in Hell."_

"_No, Damon, don't. I'll do anything, please, Damon! You need me. Damon, YOU NEED ME!"_

Damon closed the tomb and stepped away. It had been a no good, very bad night. He let out a sigh and blinked quickly before leaving. He didn't want to let her get to him once more. Still, he couldn't help noticing that she had never sounded so desperate before. But it didn't matter anymore how she sounded, what she felt, what she wanted. It was over. After one hundred and forty six years, it was finally over. _This could have – should have- gone a completely different way_, he told himself while heading home.

* * *

Damon Salvatore had loved Katherine Pierce more than anyone could ever understand. She had meant so much to him. She was the first woman he fell in love with. She was the first woman he had been willing to die for. She was the first woman he had drunk blood from. She was the one who turned him. She was the one.

When he thought he could have her back, long before he knew that she wasn't in the damn tomb, he used to picture the day they would be reunited. Every night in 146 years, he had had the same self-influenced Dream of them meeting somewhere in New York or London or wherever. Always a big city, so they could celebrate by feeding on a few tasty humans and not lose time covering their tracks. He would imagine her clothes, the smell of her very intoxicating fragrance, and the perfect curls of her hair. He would almost hear her voice and feel her touch. Sometimes, the Dream would turn out to be a very wild fantasy with no sense of decency. Sometimes, it would be the most romantic thing ever. Either way, it would make him feel warm and hopeful and determined again.

As the years had gone by, the Dream had stopped coming back every night. Damon had been losing faith in himself and wondering if he would ever get her back. Then again, if he had known she was not to be rescued, he would have spared himself the effort. He had started dating other girls; he had gone to college where he had met Bree. When he had found out that she was a witch, the Dream came back. Never mind if he had started to have feelings for her, never mind that she trusted him enough to share her secret with him and only him. Never mind all that, all he wanted then was Katherine. They had tried to open the tomb and failed. The Dream had left again for a while.

Then, he had come back to Mystic Falls, following Stefan. His little brother usually came back in town for a few weeks every now and then but he had apparently decided to stay. Damon would not allow it. Mystic Falls was the place where his life had changed forever. Stefan had ruined these moments; he would not allow him to ruin the memory of them, too. Anyway that was the place he needed to be to serve his greater agenda: the comet necessary to break the tomb spell was about to come back, too. Apparently, it was a bright time for returnees in Mystic Falls.

After that, Damon had witnessed his brother's stalking some girl. How pathetic. When he first laid eyes on her, he had thought the Dream had come true. There she was. Except her hair wasn't curled and she looked sweeter, like she had at the very beginning when he didn't know she was a vampire. His Katherine was back. He didn't know why, he didn't know how, but he didn't care. He should have. Because this mere mortal girl was no Katherine even if they looked exactly the same. Of course, Stefan would fall in love with her. It made the Dream come back: if Stefan had got himself another girl, Damon could have Katherine all to himself when she'd be back.

"_The brother who loved me too much; and the one who didn't love me enough"_ she had called them earlier. Yes, Damon had loved Katherine when she didn't give a damn. Yes, he had hurt and killed to release her from that tomb when she was free to come and go as she pleased. Yes, he had loved only her when she was sexing Mason Lockwood and God knows who else. Katherine had lied, Katherine had cheated, and Katherine had made fun of him. But now, Katherine had lost. He had defeated her.

He quickly went back to the boarding house and simply nodded at Stefan to let him know everything was under control, read the bitch is locked down. His brother thanked him and went to bed.

He had spent years imagining his life with Katherine and, as he didn't want to forget, he had written it down. He felt highly ashamed of doing so; that was why he so liked to make fun of Stefan and his diary. So now that it was all to be put behind, Damon thought he go over those lines one last time, to say goodbye. After he poured himself a glass of bourbon, he fetched his "diary" and started his reading. The first chapter was always the same: the Dream.

* * *

_I hang out every night with random people. I drink myself to sleep or party all night, but I'm never as happy as I seem. I feel terribly lonely. I haven't checked on Stefan for years. I wonder if he finally stopped hating himself for being a vampire. Or if he finally got into that Lexi girl's pants. I would have. He's fun when he's around her. He wasn't that fun to be around when we were human. If I could stand the sight of him, I love to hang out with them. But I can't, so here I am, surrounded by strangers when I need only one person. _

_I see her everywhere. My eyes tell me that those girls' hair is longer than Katherine's but I pretend not to see. When I hold them, my super sense of smell tells me that their fragrance is cheap, nothing like Katherine's glamorous one but I pretend not to smell. But then their voice is different, theirs hands much more unskilled. When I finally accept that there is no Katherine in those girls, I sink my teeth deep in their neck and drain them out of blood. It happens a little too often for my taste. Well, that's unfortunate for them. _

_It's Valentine's Day today. I'm going out for a bachelor's night out. Don't know why. I am definitely not in the mood. All these red hearts, these men dressed as Cupid, these happy couples making out…It makes me cranky. It makes me want to break their necks so they can be together forever. As if they knew what forever means. Stupid, useless human beings. And there's this girl. God, I can't have another fake Katherine. Not tonight._

_She's staring at me. Her hair is just long and curly enough. I don't know if her eyes are chocolate, though. I terribly want to find out. But I am not in the mood for killing. I have to keep my eyes off of that what's-her-name because I just know I will kill her once I see her real face. _

_She walks by me, her long hair brushing my arm. She smells like Katherine. She even walks the way I assume Katherine would. I have never seen her wearing such a short skirt; of course in 1864 she couldn't have, so I can only guess. She waves goodbye to the bartender and says "See ya next week, Joe!" The exact same voice. It never happened before. I am so going to kill her. I am gonna go hard on her because Valentine's Day is not the time to make such fun of me. I get to my feet and follow her outside. She's gone. _

You drunk idiot, what did you expect? You gotta stop this and get your sorry ass out of here_, I curse myself. But then I see her, turning her back on me. I use my supernatural speed to join her and my hands are closing on her throat before she has enough time to blink. I vamp out and she smiles wider. _

"My sweet, innocent Damon_." _

_This familiar oh-so-seductive tone. Finally. _

_Katherine. In my arms, her eyes in mine, talking to me. My Katherine._

_She is completely different from what I remember, yet she's exactly the same. Last time I saw her, I was still human and now I know my mortal perceptions didn't do her justice. In her eyes, I see a dozen shades of brown, colors that I never knew existed before this very moment. I touch her and my whole undead body is on fire. Her hair feels like silk under my fingers. And her perfume … no word in enough to describe how intoxicating it is to me. Everything about her screams danger, hurt and sin when she used to put on such an innocent face before. One second, she's an angel in disguise. The next, she's the Devil. I like the new her. Now that I'm not so human and fragile anymore, we can have some real fun. This night is going to be epic. And after that, I have plans for us. But first, I want to know how she got out of the tomb, where she has been, how she found me. She says it doesn't matter. _

"I am here now, lover. I missed you."

"Right. That's exactly why it took you so long to come find me."

"Forgive me?"

* * *

What happened in the Dream after that question was variable. Sometimes, he said he didn't forgive her but when she mentioned going to Stefan instead, he took back his words and they lived happily ever after. Sometimes, he said he didn't forgive her and she did everything she could to make it up to him. But he forgave her every time, after he got over the anger. Even now, he couldn't help thinking it would have been a hell of a life. Damon and Katherine. Katherine and Damon. They would have been unstoppable.

Damon closed the little book and sighed. He could not believe himself. This little pathetic dream had helped him keep it together throughout the years? Really? Shame. But he wasn't that man anymore. And if he didn't want to risk having his heart broken again, he had to read all of this, accept the hurt it caused.

This whole "diary" was nothing but the silly delusional invention of a desperate heartbroken ridiculous man. No wonder Katherine didn't want him back, no wonder she had never loved him. He had never been a challenge. He had been hers for the taking all along and now he understood that it was the very reason why his love had not been enough.

Loving so much hurt like Hell. It was about time his heart became as undead as the rest of his body. Damon took the so-called diary and went to the living-room to set it on fire. What should have been would never be.

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**_- M. - _**


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